When My Heart Cries (1)

There is a reason I cry...this time, because of adik. I love you as an adik... but you disappointed me. Despite all the pep talks, you're still the same you. I was hoping you'd change for good... but you disappoint me.

Why are you doing that to the girls who love you, adik? Why do you USE them to your advantage?Why can't u lift your butt, get out and get yourself a job? Why are you damn LAZY? Why are you indolent?

I love you so much adik... but I simply detest what you're doing to others. I detest your selfishness.

Sigh...

Live life to its fullest

Some people are just plain lucky, born as a silver spoon. Some people are just plain lucky, born with nothing but manage to live life lavishly, always manage to get help from all around him/ her. As for myself, when I have cash, I spend it on myself, my family members, my friends. When I'm drained out, I'll stick my butt on this loyal chair of mine and abstain myself from going out.

As for some I know, they're damn lucky bastards who get aided each time they need money. Aren't we supposed to work our ass out to earn money? But these people are damn lucky. There will always be someone at their rescue when they're in deep shit. Hehh...some lucky bastards.

Hey... it's okay... do not expect help from anyone. HELP yourself! You're in pain... so what? Walk through it... in time you'll find remedy to the pain. The pain will fade away. It will, trust me. Trust God. When you're in good fortune, live up to your own expectation. Live life to its fullest. Don't complaint too much. Allah will get crossed when you expect too much from and you don't give him anything in return.

Walk gracefully although your toes caught pebbles and bleed, keep walking... the pain will go away.

Craps ah apa aku tulis nih... but what the heck?

"Come back" to the chat room

Yes, is has been a while since I last chatted, it has been a while too I blogged. Loss of interest, loathe, self-exile...the cause of the long silence. I made a comeback, but I think it wasn't such a good idea. Perhaps I should remain missing-in-action till the thought of me fade away from everyone's thought. Being there opened up a new chapter but the story line is similar...hatred, vicious talks, bla bla bla. But somehow or rather I'm thankful for I found myself a new batch of friends...it's just that I'm seeing through how the friendships will last time around. I smiled, I cursed silently at those throwing atrocious words towards me...sigh...we can never please everyone we know and no matter how much we stay away from some, they're so attracted to splatter our lives with unwanted colors. I will remain silent for as long as I can withold myself. I'll just do that.

Orang yang GILA di Dunia Ini

Sesungguhnya dunia ini dipenuhi oleh orang2 yang gila. Terutama mereka yang dah biasa berchatting bertahun2... dan khususnya jantan2 yang dah senget otaknya. Aku ketika ini dikelilingi orang2 yang gila... baik perempuan baik lelaki.... bukan lelaki... JANTAN is probably a better term for them.

Apa lagi dugaan yang nak Kau berikan kepada hambaMu ini ya Allah? Bila aku akan dapat melepasi fasa ini?

Aku letih dan lemas dengan langau2 ni semua.

Happy Mother's Day

A day for every woman called mother.

Happy Mother's Day to my mom even though I didn't wish her. I tried to, but somehow those words failed to be uttered by me. Nevertheless I love you mak, you're the light of my life actually. I will always love you... and I know you love me too despite your ways of manifesting it towards me.

Because I failed to wish my own mom on this auspicious day, I reverted to wishing my friends who are mothers to somebody else. I don't really remember how many of them but I just composed a text and sent them to selected ones from my cell's list.

It's amazing when you send your thoughts and some of them responded and made you feel uplifted. I think I needed it... after all it wasn't a bad idea sending the text to the names stored in my cell... although some weren't that close to me.

Today I wish everyone dear to my heart, those I barely know, and to myself (eventhough I don't qualify as a mother just yet)

Mothers are like diamond...they deserve great attention from each of us.

What do I want from you?

You asked me the other day... What do you want from me, B?

I want you to be there for me...
I want you to give me special treatment
Just like how you used to
I want you to give me the attention I want
I want you not to hurt my feelings any more

I want things to be like it used to be
Although many things are limited
I want your love until I find someone else.

THAT is what I want from YOU!

You OWE me all those for all the pain you caused me.
... as I am still bleeding profusely.

King of Sorrow

I'm crying everyone's tears
and there inside our private war i died the night before
and all of these remnants
of joy and disaster
what am i supposed to do
i want to cook you a soup that warms your soul
but nothing would change nothing would change at all
it's just a day that brings
it all about
just another day
and nothing's any good

the dj's playing the
same song
i have so much to do
i have to carry on
i wonder if this grief will
ever let me go
i feel like
i am the king
of sorrow
the king of sorrow

i suppose i could just walk away
will i disappoint my future
if i stay
it's just a day that brings
it all about
just another day
and nothing's any good
the dj's playing the
same song
i have so much to do
i have to carry on
i wonder will this grief
ever be gone
will it ever go
i'm the king
of sorrow
the king of sorrow

i'm crying everyone's tears
i have already paid for all
my future sins
there's nothing anyone
can say to take this away
it's just another day
and nothing's any good

i'm the king
of sorrow
king of sorrow

present state of mind

Kelukaan Hati

Bicara demi bicara
Semuanya berbau kekecewaan dan kemarahan
Kelukaan yang menyelar dagingku
Mencengkam ke tulang

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